Friday, December 27, 2013

Welcome!

Welcome to Scraping the Barrel!

I've been watching good movies my whole life. In my opinion, good ones are easy to pick out, and through my many years of watching movies, I've been very successful at finding good movies. However, as rewarding as a good movie is to watch, sometimes a change of scenery is needed. After all, it's is a lot easier to appreciate a really great movie after you've been exposed to the truly awful ones. That is what first got me into the business of scraping the barrel, that is, watching terrible movies.

However, while my original intentions may have been to give me a greater appreciation of the cinema's finest, there was an unexpected side effect. Namely, some of these awful movies are actually a lot of fun to watch. Now I am by no means the first person to realize this. Keep in mind, not all bad movies are fit for this blog; some movies really are just unenjoyable, and I am sure I will run into some of those on this blog as well. So what sort of movie belongs on this blog? These are movies whose:

bad acting,

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

dropped plot points,

video
I'm sure the future novelization reads: "'I definite have breast cancer', said Claudette with the utmost indifference."

awful special effects,

I officially declare that when someone says "grab any weapons that you can", coat hangers no longer count.

general ridiculousness,

That is always how I imagined the Devil would behave.

cluelessly and grossly insensitive or offensive material

I think that speaks for itself.


or any combination of these make watching them an absolute pleasure. Whether you just find them funny or just love to hate, there is something about the bottom of the barrel that can really be worth you one or two hours of your attention.

A few things before we begin:

Frequency of Posts:


These posts take a long time to do. I have a full time job and a two hour commute each way. In order to do these I have to watch the movies twice (once a straight through, and the second while taking notes). I also have to get a digital copy of the movie so I can extract clips from it. As of right now, I literally haven't the slightest clue of how frequently I will be able to make new posts.

My Writing Skill:


My education is in civil engineering, and I currently work in construction management. I am not a writer, and I will not pretend to be. If occasional instances of improper grammar, punctuation, word use, or the abundance of plain language offends you: sorry.

Profanity:


My philosophy toward swearing is this: sometimes nothing really says it quite like the f-word. To translate: yes, I am going to swear. I don't intend for foul language to be the staple of this blog, but yes I am going to swear.

Sources:


IMDb's Bottom 100

This will be my primary source. IMDb's ratings are, as far as I can tell, purely user based. This is good for this blog because the public rates movies in a different way than critics do, and frankly there are a lot more users than there are critics, so IMDb gives me a much clearer picture on what the average person think of a movie.

Examples: Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Titanic: The Legend Goes On... (yes, you read that correctly) (Also known as Titanic - The Animated Movie), Troll 2

Hands: The Hands of Fate

SyFy Channel Original Movies

The SyFy Channel is a treasure trove of killer animal movies featuring animals that don't actually exist. They are usually hybrids of two deadly animals, cyborg animals, or real animals that do things that either animal alone shouldn't be able to. Now I know what you're thinking: "But Dan, it's science fiction. Why can't they just do what they want?" I counter with Sand Sharks; there is no science in that. Besides killer animals, SyFy does have a few other staples to their repertoire, such as killer animals mixed with weather or natural disasters.

Examples: Sharktopus, Sharknado, Arachnoquake (because I guess those two things are even remotely mixable), Robocroc

They actually took my punchline.

Friend Recommendations

Self explanatory.

Examples: Grabbers (pending verification of its awfulness). That's it so far. Your move, friends.

Hollywood Flops

These are a little more interesting because you have possibly seen some of these and can therefore commiserate with me.

Example: The Wicker Man, Battlefield Earth, Jack and Jill

Test case for the much anticipated Winnie the Pooh: The Live Action Movie.

Layout


The layout of each post is obviously going to vary with each post. However, I do intend for the general set up to be the same. Ideally, the layout will be divided into a few parts:

Ratings

First I will provide you with scores from Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb.

Then the ratings will be based on an absolute scale, not a relative one (read: on a scale of 1 to 10, most movies probably won't break 5 in any category). Some of the categories are listed below, but it really varies from post to post:

Acting (or Voice Acting where applicable)

Visuals (Special Effects, Animation, Etc. where applicable)

Coherence 

Fun

Humor (Intentional or Unintentional)

Introduction

Self explanatory

Synopsis (Spoiler-Free)

This is exactly what it sounds like: a basic plot outline that reveal no significant plot points. It should just give you an overview to see if this is something you are interested in watching or reading about without ruining it for you.

Character Summaries (Minor Spoilers)

This is where I let you know who the major players are, what they're like, relationship to other characters, etc. I will try my best to avoid spoilers in this section, but I am afraid that I may slip at some point (hence the "minor spoilers" label).

Saving Graces (Spoilers)

This is a summary of the things that make this movie enjoyable. After all, the movie cannot really qualify for this blog if it isn't enjoyable to watch. Like the "Sins" sectional below, these are qualities that are present for large portions of, if not the whole movie.

Sins (Spoilers)

One of my favorite sections, this is where I outline some of the major failures of the movie. Usually, this is not just a one-scene error; this is an overall or thematic failure that persists throughout the movie. For instance, a movie might have a really bad dropped plot point, but I really would not include that in this section unless the movie as a whole was also completely laced with plot points.

Play-By-Play Summary (Complete Spoilers)

In this section, I will literally take you through the entire movie, pointing out all of the minor details that allowed this movie to make it to my blog. In case you couldn't tell by the title of this section, this is a spoiler-intensive section and if you do not want anything ruined for you, do not read it.

That's about it; I hope you enjoy the blog.

My first victim: Sharknado.

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